An Interview with Jeffrey Selden of Marcia Selden Catering & Events

For Jeffrey Selden, Managing Partner at Marcia Selden Catering & Events, food and family have always been inseparable. That’s why, after earning his degree in Hospitality from Boston University and spending many years in the hotel industry, Jeffrey decided to join his family’s catering and events business alongside his mother, Marcia, and his sister, Robin. To learn more about his journey and Marcia Selden Catering & Events’ recent success, I sat down with Jeffrey.

To begin, would you mind telling me a bit about your journey with catering and events? How did you get into the business and what has kept you there?

So, the business started with my mother, Marcia Selden, 50 years ago. She did it out of her house, you know, as we were kids, and we kind of grew up with it. While all of our friends were playing basketball and soccer on the weekends, we were working, learning how to prepare parties and cook and shop. So it started at a very young age for my sister and I. Subsequently, when I went to college — I went to Boston University — they had a hospitality program, and so I entered into that. I did get my undergraduate degree in hospitality through them. And then right out of college, I wanted to go work in the hotel industry. And so I went to work at the St Regis Hotel in New York. I did that for about seven years — I started as a private butler there. Then I moved on to catering events there. And then I transitioned over to the Four Seasons Hotel, which was The Pierre at the time. There, I was also doing catering and events, running so many of the big nonprofits, weddings, charity events, and mitzvahs. That was really fun. And then I moved to the New York Palace Hotel, which — I was there for nine years, also doing catering and events. So I lived and breathed the hotel world of New York City until I joined my family’s business 15 years ago with my sister, Robin, and my mom.

This is a perfect segue, because one of the other questions I had was what it means to you to do this work with your mother and your sister.

It’s awesome. I mean, it’s working with your family, working with someone you respect and love, someone you admire and has always been your mentor. Our mother has always been our mentor in terms of, you know, telling us to work hard, strive for excellence, always be great at what you do, really follow your core values of passion, integrity, friendship, love, care, teamwork, all of that. She really instilled those values into us. So, working with her is probably the best gift I could ever have. You know, to work with your mother and your sister and to actually get along … It’s never been something that’s like, Oh my gosh, this is a burden, or, We hate each other, or anything like that. We all do different things. We all handle different work. So from that perspective, it’s great.

Something I noticed while reading your profile on the Marcia Selden Catering & Events website was that you had been identified as the “wedding whisperer”— someone who can calm the mother-of-the-bride, coach the bridal party, and rearrange floral arrangements with ease. How did that talent emerge, and is there anything about your personality that you feel suits you to working well with weddings?

I actually had a mother-of-a-bride coin that title for me many, many years ago. She said that I was like the wedding whisperer because I’m probably the most patient person ever. I also am very neutral. I am good at, you know, protecting the clients and their experiences, but also the vendors and our friends in the industry who we work so closely with. I always want to make sure that everybody has a really great experience.

And I guess from a “whisperer” standpoint, there can be so much drama that lives in the world of weddings. And I’m so totally opposite from that; I have no drama in my life. I don’t follow any of that. I’m not interested in it. I don’t care for it. So for me, it’s all about just creating a really peaceful, fun, relaxing environment. Planning weddings should be fun. And I think, you know, all my years spent training in different hotels taught me so much about how to navigate the world. Even though I’m not an event planner per se, I think I have a lot of the same resources and abilities that a lot of the big wedding planners have. You know, because when you’re working in a hotel, there’s so many clients who don’t have planners. And you, by default, have to be that person. So, I’ve been able to sort of manage that side of it while also being a caterer and staying in my own lane.

I was curious about the company’s process with clients. Would you mind walking me through what it looks like, from the client first reaching out to the event being executed?

Sure. So, clients come to us in numerous ways. The first is just a legacy of 50 years of clientele who have come back to us time and time again. I’d suggest that about 65- 70% of our clientele are repeat clients. The second way is through referrals. These clients come to us through a referral from an existing client, typically because they’ve gone to a party and they’ve had a great experience. And the third way people find out about us is through social media or through our websites. Once we get a call from a client — let’s say it’s a new client — we’re fastidious about being really fast at getting back to people. We always want to be the first one to get back to somebody. We immediately set up a phone call. Also, we are a custom caterer. What that really means is that none of what we offer comes in a set package with a set price. We really try to design and base everything around the client’s interests, needs, and style of menu — the particulars of what they’re looking for. Once we have that conversation and we really, really understand their preferences (what they love, what they don’t like, if they have a particular budget, if they have a style or a look that they’re working with, if there’s a certain designer to coordinate with), we can create a customized proposal for them. This proposal will give them a general sense of the range of menus that we can put together and a general range of pricing (again, there is no set price). So, we don’t tell people what to spend. We just say, Typically, if you were doing a sit-down dinner, it would range between A, B and C. And then we sort of show them all of the options so that they can determine for themselves what makes sense for them. And then from that point, it’s a back-and-forth. It can sometimes be a lengthier process, because we really want it to be perfect from the beginning and for people to feel comfortable with the experience of what they’re buying. Sometimes the clients just know it, trust it, and don’t even care. They’re just like, I’ll send you a deposit. We’ll deal with the details later. We just want to lock you in. I would say, though, that people today are pretty savvy and know what they want. They come to us knowing the style of caterer that we are from a quality standpoint. So, it’s pretty rare that we get a client who says, I’m a budget bride, and has, you know, $10 to spend. Because they almost always know, right from when they walk in the door, that we’re probably going to be a luxury experience. We’re probably going to throw a lot of staff at it and we’re likely going to be pretty expensive. We’re going to offer only the top-quality ingredients, experience, staff, and all of that. So that’s usually the process. And then we have — we work as teams. So for instance, on my team, there’s three of us. From the beginning, we introduce the client to our team so that they are in contact with a group of people and not a singular individual in charge of the whole experience. And that’s awesome, too, because we all handle different things. Some do menus, some work on rentals, some do logistics, some deal with client-facing experiences, some do timelines. So we all work together, but there are different roles for each of us. And it’s a great way for us to ensure that when a client reaches out, they get answered quickly. Because it’s so easy if you’re just one person to miss an email or to get caught up in a meeting and forget to reply. This is a new process, one we adopted about four years ago during the COVID-19 pandemic, and it just worked. We recognized that it was a better solution for the clients.

How did the COVID-19 pandemic affect Marcia Selden Catering?

It was probably the best thing that ever happened to us. First of all, we kept our entire team. We didn’t lay off anyone. We didn’t lose anyone. We kept everybody working. I’ll never forget it, we were at the Catersource Conference in Las Vegas on Wednesday, you know, the 11th [of March, 2020]. On Friday the 13th, we got on a plane. The whole country was shutting down. We got on that plane — it was a red-eye back to New York — and we were freaking out because everything was canceling left and right. We decided that we were going to pivot into an at-home catering service where we would deliver meals to people, even if it were only two or four people. We created a menu on the plane. Saturday morning, we got it together. Monday, we rolled it out. Tuesday, we started delivery. Everything canceled, and we lost our shirts from a revenue standpoint. But we ended up doing 400-500 deliveries a week for our loyal clients who were just … afraid. Nobody wanted to go to restaurants, nobody could go to grocery stores, and we were doing non-stop deliveries. And we were chasing, you know? There was a lot of, Hi, can I get your $200 dinner or your $400 family thing? We were really chasing all these little orders. I think the clients recognized that we really took care of them, that we followed through, and that we offered a service nobody else was really offering.

And then with that, we also helped deal with the local hospitals; we did thousands of meals for them. And that was just a really good feel-good moment of taking care of the frontline workers. All of the clients from 2020 who had canceled were moved to 2021 and 2022, so we had to layer that business on top of our new business. This made it very tricky for us at first. We couldn’t say no to these cancellations, so we had days where we would do, like, five or six weddings on the same day. Before COVID, never in a million years would we have done that. But we had no choice, so we figured it out. And once we did, it became our new standard. It was like, Wait a second, we know how to do this now. So, all of a sudden, by 2023 and 2024, our revenues more than doubled. Because once we figured out and tasted this concept of how to do it on a larger scale, it gave us a lot of potential to grow without even trying. It just happened naturally.

I know that you primarily work in New York and Connecticut, but I also saw a “destinations” tab on your website’s Featured Venues page! Do you have a favorite place you’ve been with the company? Or, perhaps, a few places?

We’ve done some in Florida, we’ve done some in the Dominican Republic, we do a lot in New England. Listen, anything outside of a three, four hour trip is a destination to us. There’s Upstate New York, Martha’s Vineyard … I mean, we love Martha’s Vineyard. We love working up there. Destinations can be a little tricky from a flying standpoint, because it’s hard to bring your food with you on a plane and still give guests that same experience. Also, we have a lot of relationships with other caterers around the country and around the world who we can partner with to style menus, plan cuisine, all of that. And from there we’ll often just act as a sort of culinary partner and help train a team to really produce something beautiful. So, I’d say it’s not our first choice to go the destinations route. But more and more we’re seeing clients who are saying, Can you help us design something great that’s going to feel like a real New York experience? Because people believe that there’s something special about what goes on here in New York. And we say, Yes! We’re glad to show up wherever we’re needed, wherever our clients want to have their parties.

Speaking of New York, what is it about working there that you enjoy the most?

I think it’s people’s thresholds for throwing unique events that are special, that are over the top, that are different from everybody else’s. I mean, the corporate clients are great. There’s no drama to navigate, no Oh my gosh, what are people going to think if I order the halibut over the dover sole over the branzino? like we see with some of the social events we do. But from a social standpoint, I would say people are willing to really elevate the experience to a whole different level here in New York, and that’s really exciting for us. It gives us an opportunity to do things that no one else does, to provide an experience that, from a service standpoint and from a culinary standpoint, just isn’t typical for catered events. Like, if you go to a beautiful fine dining restaurant, you expect a certain thing. And in a catered environment, you almost don’t think it’s possible to have that same level of service or experience. That’s what really excites us. We want to create those next-level, “wow” moments. And I’m not talking about, you know, food served upside down or anything like that. I’m talking abou really unexpected, beautiful service touches. The kinds of things you’d find if you were, for instance, at a fine dining restaurant in Paris, or having a really authentic Italian meal in Tuscany.

I also read that you are the “mastermind” behind the company’s bar program. How did you become interested in mixology/the “bar scene”?

So, in college, I actually studied comparative wine production. For those who don’t know, I’ll explain using an example. If you have champagne from the Champagne region, it’s a certain type, one that people really love and enjoy. But Italy produces the same kind of thing, Prosecco. Germany produces Sekt, Spain has Cava, and so on. So, depending upon where you are and your knowledge of production, you can try to figure out which product you’re tasting. I did a lot of studying abroad; I traveled to all of these countries to learn about their production, particularly their wine production. That’s what got me excited and engaged about drinks and cocktails. And when I came to join the family business, I recognized that it was sort of an open spot — you know, we were providing liquor and bars, but we weren’t really offering a specialized experience. So, we started really elevating our game, offering things like specialty drinks, high-end wines, and unique wines that, again, you just wouldn’t typically see. We also started to partner with other companies. We work a lot with a company called The Cup Bearer, a mixology and flair bartending service. We work with them when clients want bartenders who are flipping bottles, doing unique smoked cocktails, all of that. And that just became the kind of added experience that we regularly offer. We work with these other companies because while we have a great team, it’s always nice to partner with other experts and sort of showcase other companies too. It’s not just all about us.

I know that, as a wedding vendor, you’ve worked with many clients who have different aesthetics, tastes, etc. Is there an event or two that stand out in your memory as particularly enjoyable or fulfilling to help put together?

Yeah! About three or four years ago, we worked at Nemacolin, which is a resort in Pennsylvania. We did a rehearsal dinner, actually, for the family’s son who got married. We worked with a planning company called GoBella, and the designer, Ed Libby, to put together this completely vegan evening. The client wasn’t necessarily vegan, but they wanted that experience. And it was at Frank Lloyd Wright’s Fallingwater, his famous house that had never, ever been used for an event before. It was the most spectacular experience. Just from a culinary standpoint, it was all very elaborate vegan cuisine. It wasn’t just about vegetables! Visually, it was absolutely over-the-top, stunning, amazing. We had brought an entire team to Pittsburgh to create this … I think we were a team of about 120 staff, between waiters and chefs and captains and bartenders and all of that, so it really stands out as one of the more special events we’ve done.

Another one that was really beautiful was an anniversary party for a couple who had an apartment out in the Hamptons. They also had an apartment in Paris, and they wanted to emulate a Parisian-themed party for their wedding anniversary. So we worked with a designer named Anthony Taccetta, who created this spectacular tent experience that made you feel like you were sitting underneath the Eiffel Tower. The “wow” factor of the night for us, though, was creating an open kitchen environment in one of the tents. We built out this spectacularly-designed, commercial-looking kitchen with all stainless steel tables and utensils. Usually, as caterers, we’re always behind-the-scenes. We’re hidden in the back. We’re always like, Nobody wants to see the guts of what goes on. But this was a little bit like going to a fine dining restaurant. When you watch an open kitchen happen, you see the chefs cooking, you see the production, you see it all. People were blown away. Everything, down to the chefs prepping and cooking and cutting and whisking, was a little bit of a show. There was a lot of pomp and circumstance that came with it. We had to design custom uniforms and chef hats to create this super Parisian vibe. The dirty little secret of it all was, we knew this would be a social media moment, so we brought in some of our model waiters. We dressed them up in these uniforms and had them in the front of this glass-enclosed kitchen, cutting fresh herbs and whisking eggs. It had nothing to do with the menu, it was just a really fun way to contribute to the guest experience.

What makes catering for a wedding distinct from catering for other kinds of events?

From a wedding standpoint, I just feel like there’s so much personality behind it. A lot of the clients, particularly the brides, have grown up with an expectation in their mind of what they dreamt their day would look like. And many of them are always looking for something specific. It’s like, Hey, when I grew up, this was my favorite cake that I loved, or, I always dreamt of having this particular wine poured at my table. Finding those special touches and moments for a wedding is what we’re always looking for. We’re looking to recreate those moments, to make it so personalized that when guests walk into that party, they’re like, They totally got this client. This totally reads and feels like it could be something that was made exclusively for them. It’s always interesting to be able to create a customized experience, because it’s the kind of thing you probably won’t do for any other kind of event. We once did a wedding for a couple who were both neurosurgeons up at Yale. And so the wedding was really … you know, you could imagine. It was a bunch of doctors. And you’re like, Oh, is this going to be exciting? Is it going to be boring? What is this? At the end of the night, we did a dessert in the shape of a brain. It was so goofy, but when everybody saw it they laughed. It was just so cute and relevant to them. So, it’s sort of like searching for the fun, unique element that will tie everything back to the couple.