Five years of lessons on love: Tanya Pushkine reflects on connecting with clients

It has been five years since Tanya Pushkine founded The Vow Whisperer, and for her, it’s been nothing short of an adventure. For much of that adventure, she credits her clients. 

The Vow Whisperer is what Tanya calls her “passion project.” Truly, it is a labor of love — pun fully intended. Through her services, she gets to witness the love of each individual couple she works with, and sometimes, that love overflows onto everyone involved with the wedding, including Tanya.

For Tanya, she says this is something she’s honored to be a part of when it happens. Even though a connection with clients is something that might seem inevitable in her line of work, it’s something Tanya is intentional about and strives for. 

“Everybody is different. There are people who are far more open and far more enveloping, in a way, with their hearts,” Tanya said. “They want me to be part of the process, this journey that they’re on up to their wedding.” 

In a way, weddings are a baring of the soul. They expose the deepest and rawest parts of ourselves, the things that drive us to spend our entire lives with another person. Tanya brings this understanding to every meeting with her clients as she prepares them for the first day of the rest of their lives.

“The vows are a very intimate thing, and when you’re opening yourself up in your written words, you are opening your heart to this future spouse of yours,” Tanya said — and this sentiment rings true for every moment of a wedding. 

For some, openness comes easily. Their hearts are like a fist filled with rice or rose petals; when the moment comes, they open, letting the wind carry their contents in a gorgeous display. However, for many, Tanya understands that this might be a challenge, so she’s always been dedicated to meeting clients where they are. 

Sometimes, this has even resulted in some cherished anecdotes that Tanya remembers warmly. 

“[The bride] walks in…she’s not [wearing a microphone] but the groom and I are, so everything can be heard,” Tanya said, recalling one wedding. “And I have a live microphone because I’m about to speak in it. And she gets up to the front and says, ‘I think I’m going to puke.’”

Tanya said she touched the bride’s arm to ground her in the moment. After that, the wedding moved forward without a hitch. 

For Tanya, experiences like these have helped her appreciate her talent for working with others and bring her full, authentic self to the table. 

“Apparently, I’m very calming,” Tanya said. “Very often, I’m not trying [to be calming]. I’m just being me.” 

Meeting clients where they are and accepting them as such is at the heart of Tanya’s work — because for her, the professional is personal. 

The story of The Vow Whisperer began right here, at Tanya’s wedding to her husband, Paul. From this day forward, Tanya’s inspiration blossomed into a passion for helping couples express and share their love. 

Since then, her work at The Vow Whisperer sits in her memories like a field of blooming flowers in an ocean of stunning color, each petal representing a new success. What makes this work so special isn’t the objective numbers, like the money she makes or the number of clients she’s had. Rather, what makes this worthwhile for her is being allowed to participate in celebrating once-in-a-lifetime devotion — and have an impact on people’s lives in the process. 

“When I get a text from the bride or a groom or both, literally right after the ceremony, [and] they’re texting me to tell me how amazing it went, there’s nothing more fulfilling than that,” Tanya said. “That’s when I know I’ve really made a mark on their lives…and it’s absolutely everything [to me] that I have made their lives happier, even just for a moment.” 

Sometimes, Tanya is simply in awe of the beauty of it all. No matter how many clients she works with, she approaches each one with fresh eyes and an open heart. It’s work she never gets tired of, and as such, it doesn’t feel like work, no matter what challenges pop up. 

Through this work, Tanya has become a perpetual student in the school of love. Every individual she works with serves as a teacher, helping her learn something new about the ever-evolving landscape of the human experience. 

“I think everybody teaches me something different about love,” Tanya said. “Everyone loves differently. They may use the same cliché words, but I think everybody sees it differently, and everybody expresses it differently. It’s interesting to learn how different people use their languages of love, and what they do to express that language of love.” 

As The Vow Whisperer moves into the future, Tanya hopes these experiences will continue as she helps couples bring their love for one another into the open. Because, truly, where would any of us be, without love?