An Interview with Tyler Speier of Tyler Speier Events

Tyler Speier is more than just an event planner — he is an innovator, a storyteller, and one of the most talented wedding professionals I have ever had the pleasure of collaborating with. For Tyler, it all began with his parents’ wedding video: a priceless family keepsake that jumpstarted his appreciation for thoughtful design and emotionally-impactful celebrations. Even after eighteen years in the business, Tyler is just as passionate about creating truly bespoke events as ever — and graciously took the time to chat with me about his journey.

You briefly mention in your website’s About section that your passion for event planning began with watching your parents’ wedding video — a tidbit I deeply appreciated you sharing. Would you mind explaining what exactly about that video and that experience stuck with you + how it has shaped your process?

So, when [I was] little, we used to watch my parents’ wedding video on their anniversary every year. And I just loved, you know, seeing their faces, seeing my grandparents so much younger, seeing my uncles and aunts … some of my uncles and aunts were still teenagers at that point! And, you know what’s funny? My parents’ wedding wasn’t anything designer or crazy. It was just in a church; they were married by their [fathers], who were both priests. Their reception was at a college dorm dining hall. It was so, so simple — but the fun, the beauty, Mom’s dress, her flowers, all of it brought me so much joy. So, I think that how that shaped the process for me is … As a designer, I love décor. I love how everything looks and feels. But I don’t think that’s the heart of it all. I think the heart is the hospitality, the family coming together, and how that feels. I think that has stayed at the core of what I do: [to remember] that the experience and the people are way more important than all the stuff.

That reminds me of your idea of “carefully-executed restraint”, of allowing the natural details of a space to speak for themselves. Can you think of a particular time you exercised that restraint and how specifically it positively impacted an event’s execution?

I’m thinking right now of an event we did at Luttrellstown Castle in Dublin, Ireland — it’s where the Beckhams got married and it’s gorgeous. We had a super limited amount of time to do the [installation], and we wanted to have a lot of flowers and a lot of beauty … But I think, to me, carefully-executed restraint is knowing when to enhance something and, again, knowing when to let the beauty of a space speak for itself. So in that case, we did the ceremony in the grand foyer, and we did flowers down the aisle with big branches on the fireplace. But, the room had such amazing architecture and such amazing chandeliers and everything, that it didn’t need to be covered. It needed to be enhanced. Same with dinner. We didn’t need to drape all the walls or bring in new lighting — it was a grand ballroom in a castle! What it needed was flickering candlelight, beautiful tables, and really intentional table settings that brought it all together.

We have had the opportunity to interview a few other really lovely event planners for The Vow Whisperer blog, Veronica Joy and Marina Luri-Clark among them. They both heavily underscored the importance of flexibility and of infusing joy into the planning process. How do flexibility and joy manifest in your work?

We [actually] tell all of our couples that our keywords are “peace”, “joy”, and “flexibility.” Like, that’s [what we tell] every bridal party at rehearsal, every couple upon booking… that those are our keywords and that’s what we’re going to do. For me, the joy is in what we’re doing, and also in the couple. [When it comes to the] flexibility … a lot of couples have not planned an event of this scale before, or don’t have a real sense of pricing, so it’s shocking. It’s just like when you go to buy your first house. You’re like, “I think this is what it’s going to cost.” And then you’re like, “Wait a minute. Oh my gosh. It’s so much more!” And [I think it is so important to] have someone who is experienced, calm, compassionate, and able to walk you through it. In real life, we have to be flexible. If we’re not flexible, we’re not going to find joy. And your wedding day is so important, but it’s also a day in real life, and something isn’t going to go to plan. In this process, there are going to be curveballs, so having that flexibility is key.

You have a team of event planners and floral designers who support you during event production; what kinds of responsibilities do these folks have and how would you describe the team’s overall collaboration style?

I love our team. We’ve all been working together for a long time. I think it takes a really special kind of person to thrive in the wedding world or the event world. It’s a very creative and fun environment. But, that creativity and fun come with sweat, tears, chafing, long hours, and all the things that happen to make these designs come to life. There’s not a lot of industries like that — where you get to create art, but [only have] this really intense time period to produce it. There are a lot of people who thrive in the creative but not in the intensity, and there are a lot who thrive in the intensity but not the creative. Those people don’t make it in this industry.

Our team is my favorite. I love everyone on our team. Cassie is my lead planner, and she [mostly] leads production and works with vendors. And then with the rest of our team … I would say our dynamic is really special. I love having people on my team who bring their different talents to the table, [especially] in areas that maybe I couldn’t even do. I think my favorite thing about our team, [though], is just the open communication. It’s being able to say, “Yes, I love that.”, “No, I don’t love that.”, or “Hey, how can we rethink this? How do we get it to fit in-budget?”. Being kind is being clear and being clear is being kind. You know, sometimes, as the leader of my team, I’ll see something and it’s not my favorite, because creativity and beauty are subjective. And I think us working together and all having respect for [one another] allows us to be able to give that kind of feedback in a way that is helpful and [propels us] forward instead of fostering resentment.

You also mention often wearing the hats of “family dynamic mediator” and “etiquette advisor” in addition to “event planner” — how did you develop those skills and why do you think they are important for a successful planner/designer to have?

[From the start], I tell all of my couples: your wedding is going to bring out the best and the worst of the family dynamics, friend opinions, everything. When we think “wedding”, immediately, just based on our own upbringings and our own experiences with weddings, all of these presupposed [ideas] come up. And when you bring two families together, especially two families with different religions or cultures, these ideas mean a lot to them. You have a couple that’s starting their own family, their own chapter, their own thing, and then you have all of these other layers and expectations [to contend with] … And so I think that it’s absolutely imperative in this industry, if you’re going to be successful in planning, in design, in working with people, to be able to find that balance. Like, “Hey, your parents are paying for the wedding. It’s really important to them that it’s a seated dinner and a formal affair. You want it to be freaky, fun, and outside the box. They’re footing the bill. You have a vision. How do we sit down together and make everyone happy?” When they’re in these tough situations, I always tell my couples: “We want to honor where you came from, we want to celebrate where you’re going, we want to honor where you are right now, and we don’t want to throw any of those away.”

One of the main tenants of your planning philosophy is to create events that tell each client’s “story.” How exactly does your understanding of the story behind the event inform your planning process? How do you successfully combine a logistics-based approach with a storytelling-based approach?

I like to think of events like a theater production, a little bit. It’s very similar, right? There’s all of this preparation and then there’s show time. And the show must go on no matter what — it’s a similar kind of dynamic. To have a successful theater production, you have to have everything logistically-sound, right? You have to have every person in place, they have to know what they’re doing, they have to know everything. And often, if you think about theater and rehearsals, it starts with memorizing lines and figuring out where you’re going, right? But then, once you have that framework, what makes theater magical is when you’re transported to another place. When you are feeling the story, feeling those emotions, and I think that weddings are very similar. So, you know, the logistics really matter, and they have to be sound, because if they aren’t sound, the story is not being told. And storytelling doesn’t necessarily mean, like, just in the décor. Does your family love this one kind of champagne and that’s what you’re serving when everyone arrives? Is it warm hospitality that’s really important to you, and your hospitable aunts are greeting everyone at the ceremony? Are Grandma’s chocolate chip cookies your favorite thing and did you include one in each welcome bag? Does your family have Italian [heritage] and are you serving food with an Italian flair to honor that? [It can be anything]; I think it’s the intention that [truly] matters, because intention tells stories.

Outside of event planning, you deeply value being a father and husband, and often host public speaking events/workshops/online courses for aspiring creative professionals. How do your love for family and passion for educating other creative minds impact your day-to-day life as a planner?

You know, you don’t see a lot of wedding planning professionals with families — a lot of people in this industry choose not to have a family. Which makes sense; you’re on the road a lot. I think it’s really beautiful that we’ve created a business over the years that allows me to be really present with my family. Like, this morning, I went on a run with my one-year-old in the stroller and got great quality time with her. And tonight, I’m going to sit around the table with my family and hear about their days. But then there’s wedding season, where sometimes I go for days without seeing them, because it’s [so] crazy. And so, I think that loving and prioritizing family keeps me grounded in real life. Like, I love weddings, but they’re also just a day. And there are times where we’ll have a client who is freaking out about having this shade of this because it’s not available … And that can start to feel really stressful, and we want to honor that discomfort and help them figure out the solution. But at the end of the day, that’s not a commentary on my worth. I am not my business, and having my family keeps me grounded in that. Because just like any human, there’s going to be times where we knock it out of the park, and there’s going to be times where we mess up or make a mistake. Not even intentionally, just… real life happens, right? And if all of my identity is in my work, then when work is going well, I feel good. But when work isn’t going well, I don’t feel good. And I think that having my family just really reminds me of that kind of deeper purpose in life.

And then, education goes into that, too. Like, in a couple of weeks, I’m going to Chicago to speak for WIPA at one of their events, and I love that, because when I was just starting in the industry I felt like there wasn’t a lot of community or resources. I’d walk into a room and have so many questions, [but] I felt like my questions were bad questions. I’m so grateful to have gotten so far in this industry, and still be growing in it, and now to be a leader in it. You know, creatives, we often feel so siloed, like we’re working on our own, like we’re doing our own thing. And, [to hear] from someone else, “Yeah, that’s really hard.” [means something].

You started Tyler Speier Events in 2008, almost 18 years ago. How has the industry changed and how have you changed with it?

I started so long ago; I was 18 years old and just graduating high school. I basically did budget weddings for the first five or six years. You know, our first wedding was a $1,000 budget, a dessert potluck at a little church, and here we are now. I think the industry has changed yet hasn’t changed in a lot of ways. I’d [say] that probably the biggest change is just hyper-personalization. You know, back when we first started, there were some ideas out there, but a lot of people were kind of doing the same thing. Now that everything’s out there [on Pinterest], I feel like we’re seeing a lot more unique designs.

I also think that the expectations surrounding weddings have really shifted. 18 years ago, your bachelor party was hanging out with your friends at a local bar. Now it’s a weekend [and itineraries] and travel … So, the industry has really blown up [in that way]. And I think in that sense, it has shifted, but in another sense, the heart of it is still the same. It is still people getting married, making this choice to defy the odds and say that love is the priority and that they’re going to fight to be together for the rest of their lives in this beautiful commitment. I see the same joy on a packed dance floor today that I saw 18 years ago. Those dance floors look a little different of course, just budget-wise. My custom dance floors now cost more than the entire wedding did back then! But it’s still that same contagious, beautiful joy, and I don’t think that is going anywhere.

To conclude, I wanted to ask about one of The Vow Whisperer’s absolute favorite weddings, Brianda and Adam’s at the Glenmere Mansion in the Fall of 2024. I remember the day well — you had to pivot to an indoor ceremony after some unexpected rain, and I was truly awed by not only the ease with which you transformed the indoor space, but by how you encouraged the couple to remain joyful and in the moment. What do you remember from that day and how might it exemplify the planning philosophy we’ve been discussing?

I love Brianda and Adam. They were so sweet, and they flew us out to New York. We’re doing this wedding, and we have this vision. We had been working on this for over a year, and were genuinely excited about it. And then, the morning of the wedding, it was like, “This rain is coming in.” I [knew it would mean] a pretty significant shift in vision. Instead of a ceremony out on a hill overlooking the water with all of this openness, it was going to be in a really narrow, long space — which was so beautiful, but just a very different vibe. I always tell my couples, “I’m always going to tell you the truth and just tell you how it is.” And so, I had to sit down with them on the morning of their wedding and be like, “Hey, it’s going to rain and we’re going to have to shift.” And then I said, “Look at my eyes. Remember, when you hired me, I told you I would have your back and I would make it amazing. And the rain is not going to ruin this day. We’re just going to have an amazing day.” And I think that’s really important, as the planning team, that we maintain that positivity. And, sure enough, it poured. Like, absolutely poured. And I think that the ceremony was even more beautiful than it could have been. It felt so intimate, so wonderful. [Because], at the end of the day, it really comes down to your heart and your attitude. Part of life is adjusting, and it is finding joy in the unexpected. And I think sometimes, in weddings, we’re like, “I’m going to have the perfect day.” And what we think about as a perfect day is perfectly planned from start to finish. But, [which of the most memorable days in your life] have gone perfectly to plan? It’s almost like meeting your partner for the first time; you usually don’t walk into that situation thinking, “I’m meeting my partner tonight”, but all of a sudden, this whole story begins. [On your wedding day, no matter the circumstances], if you have the right team supporting you, the right attitude, and you’re there for all the right reasons, it will be the most amazing day.