From Start to Vows: Moving Past Family Wedding Tension

Guest toasting champagne with wedding couple. Young newlyweds clinking glasses and enjoying the moment with guest at wedding reception outside.

Weddings often start off with the notion that family is one of the top priorities of the day. Family can be a massive part of your wedding, from bridal party members, your own personal wedding planners, to the most beloved guests. Yet what happens when your family, or your partner’s, aren’t supportive of your relationship? This is an issue that has always existed due to cultural, religious, or orientation differences, but when it happens to you, it can feel shocking, overwhelming too. Let’s focus on how despite some initial anxiety, your day can still focus on the love you and your partner share.

Bride With Wedding Planner In Marquee

In the beginning of the planning stages, you might want to seriously consider getting yourself a wedding planner. In the midst of family tension, a wedding planner can help you establish things that you may have wanted to rely on a family member for. Additionally, planners are the most experienced people in these situations, having the most insight on venues, floral arrangements, catering, and not to mention, seating charts, which may cause you months worth of tension otherwise. Investing in a well-versed planner will help alleviate additional stress of the wedding, allowing you a break.

Happy young African American bride sitting by served table in restaurant among friends and wedding guests and talking to them

The next phase is potentially the most stressful: Establishing the guest list. While guest lists can create an overwhelming feeling, in some ways this can end up being liberating. The first part of this is listing all the people you want to invite, but then, you have to remove or make adjustments for your own mental sake. When it comes to the tension in your family, you have to question whether the people invited are there for you and have your best interest at heart. If in this process you find that the family members in question will bring too much negativity or hold grudges against your relationship, it may be worth leaving them off the list. If you find yourself conflicted, working with your wedding planner can give an unbiased set of eyes for these decisions. You have to frequently reassure yourself that your wedding is about your love, and the people there should value that.

Romantic embracement of the just married couple in the restaurant

In the later stages, once you have identified who will support you best on your day, it is about finding a venue that will do the same. If you are in a situation where you and your partner are of different cultures, in a same-sex relationship, or another style of relationship, you both need to ensure that your venue is inclusive of you both. Some venues may place restrictions on certain people which can disrupt your day. The venue should be a clear reflection of the two of you, allowing you to feel comfortable on your big day. You can always consult the venue, or your planner if you have one, to determine that your venue is a good fit, creating a carefree environment on your big day.

Best man giving speech to newlywed couple at wedding reception. Group of friends gathering for wedding reception.

For the final stages, your attention should shift to the ceremony. The actual day might seem far away, yet it comes up so much faster than you might expect. On that day, you will only be surrounded by the people who love and support you most, in a place that you feel comfortable. The ceremony should be officiated by an experienced professional, but get one that suits you two. Also, you should plan your vows, or enlist some help, in order to share your feelings in an authentic way. In a space where you are only surrounded by support, you can share your genuine emotions without fear of rejection. This is the moment where any worry or fear disappears, leaving you with just the love between you two.

Even though family tension can cause a sense of unease for your wedding, these are steps you can take to highlight yourself and your partner on that day. All of the steps will lead you to centering the day around yourself and ultimately, allow you to stop worrying about everyone so that you and your partner can celebrate.

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Crafting Heartfelt Words Into Unforgettable Memories
Serving in Destinations Around the World

Crafting Heartfelt Words
Into Unforgettable Memories
Serving in Destinations Around the World