It’s All In The Details: 4 Small Ways To Elevate Your Ceremony

At the heart of every wedding is the ceremony. While its primary purpose is to solidify your marriage in the eyes of the law, it is also a space for the officiant to give a speech or a reading and the couple to exchange both vows and rings. While almost all wedding ceremonies conclude with “I do”s and a kiss, there are plenty of small ways you can elevate and personalize your ceremony so it is the truest reflection of your union.

1. Readings: The officiant for your wedding can wear many hats. They might integrate passages from religious texts, their own assessment of the love the couple shares, or any number of other written materials. When I officiate, I always relish the opportunity to include a reading in the ceremony. With rhythm and metaphor as their primary tools, poems in particular are incredible conduits of meaning. By including a poetry reading, you create the perfect space for your guests to appreciate the simultaneous fullness and transcendence of your love. A few poems you might consider integrating into your ceremony are “Invitation to Love” by Paul Laurence Dunbar, “Habitation” by Margaret Atwood, and “Falling Stars” by Rainer Maria Rilke. If none of these are quite speaking to you, that’s okay! There is a whole world of love poems out there for you to explore.

There are also many lovely non-poetic readings you might include; monologues from films, excerpts from novels, or even song lyrics can contribute to the richness and emotional depth of your ceremony. The role of reader isn’t limited to the officiant, either! If there is someone in your life who you and your partner would like to honor by including them on your big day, consider asking them to read a piece or two (so long as they are comfortable with speaking in public!).

2. Vow Books: As you may have concluded, I am of the opinion that your wedding vows are some of the most important words you will ever write. They allow you to set the tone for your marriage through the exchange of deeply personal affirmations, anecdotes, and promises. The words hold tremendous meaning on their own, but that meaning is extended and immortalized when you transcribe them into physical vow books. Often pocket-sized journals, vow books have two main purposes. First, they elevate the aesthetic value of your vow exchange; the vow books you select can be tailored to your color palette or any motifs that emerge in your decor. Vow books also have a tangible quality and longevity that vows written digitally or onto loose-leaf paper do not. Not only can vow books be physically held, you know they will last. You can even reread your vows to each other on your anniversary each year; it will be the perfect annual reminder of your enduring love. So, instead of burying your most intimate, sentimental declarations in a Word document or hastily scrawling them on a single sheet of paper, invest in a vow book.

3. Decor: Another way to elevate your ceremony is through the decor you choose. This can be a great opportunity to integrate your pets, your children, or your hobbies and passions into your big day! If, for example, you and your partner both love photography, strings of polaroid photos adorning the chair backs might be a compelling idea. Or, if you two share a dog, having paw prints along the aisle could be a fun way to capture your shared love for your four-legged friend. Personalized decor doesn’t need to be D.I.Y., though; with the help of an experienced wedding planner and design team, the sky is the limit. A towering monogrammed floral installation? A custom marquee of you and your partner’s names? The right team will stop at nothing to execute the ceremony decor of your wildest dreams.

4. Ritual and Tradition Through Unity Ceremonies: In addition to your vow exchange, wedding ceremonies often include another ritual that symbolizes your commitment: the unity ceremony. You can do absolutely anything for your unity ceremony, so long as the activity or action is symbolic in some way of your shared love. Common unity ceremonies include sand-pouring, candle-lighting, and tree-planting, but you can get as unique and personal as you’d like! Some couples paint on a shared canvas, some couples take shots of their favorite spirit, and some couples bury a time capsule. By diverging from the typical unity ceremonies, you make your ceremony (and thus your marriage!) special.

Unity ceremonies are also a great way to reflect culture and tradition. If, for example, you are of Hawaiian descent, you and your partner might pour water over a lava rock as your unity ceremony. Or, if you are of Irish descent, your unity ceremony might involve tying a fisherman’s knot with ribbon together.

On your wedding day, every detail should feel sincere. Your guests will spot what’s generic or forced from a mile away, and you will too. Instead of settling for the standard, try out our tips to subtly personalize and thus elevate your ceremony. Trust us, you’ll be happy you did!