The Importance of the Guest Experience, and How to Elevate It

I’ve been a wedding professional for multiple years now, and I often see a particular phrase tossed around: “It is your day.” 

Objectively, I don’t take any issue with this sentiment. The wedding ceremony and reception should be centered on the spouses and tailored to their desires. I’ve never met someone who I didn’t think deserved the wedding of their dreams, and I’m quite sure I never will. 

That being said, like with anything, there are some nuances to this. Your wedding is absolutely your day, but it is also your debut as a married couple. Additionally, it is a celebration that you, in a way, are the host of. As such, I believe that the guest experience is one of the most important elements of any wedding. It’s something that I believe should be elevated wherever possible. 

However, it might be difficult to approach elevating the guest experience without losing touch with your own desires for your wedding. Here are some topics to think that might be of help. 

The art of the first impression

If there is any truth that I will stick to for as long as I’m a wedding professional, it’s this: The moment your guests walk into the ceremony is the most crucial part of their experience. Here, they not only get their first impression of your wedding day, but of your new marriage. 

Like with any major introduction, you and your spouse want to ensure that it is well put-together and truly representative of who you are. It is important that this moment is up to your standards as a couple. Ask yourselves, if you were to walk into a room made solely of your love, what would you see? How do you want to translate that into the real world?

Think of the moment your guests walk into the ceremony as the curtain rising on your marriage. All sets and key elements must be in their spots, every light that needs to be on is on, and all metaphorical (and literal) mics should be in place. Just as a misplaced prop or a stray stagehand running across the set can break the audience’s immersion, anything that appears rushed or unfinished might take your guests out of the moment. 

Additionally, it is crucial that everyone is punctual. If necessary, consider providing transportation or detailed arrival instructions to your guests — or, if you’re quite dedicated, giving your guests an incentive to arrive early, such as breakfast or entertainment. A late guest is unlikely to notice much other than sneaking into the ceremony unnoticed. Give everyone a way to be accounted for by the time your ceremony starts. 

Once this is said and done, the moment your guests arrive is your chance to make a spectacular visual display of your love, so your venue’s decorations are of utmost importance. The venue doesn’t have to be decorated as elaborately as possible, but the decorations should have a cohesive aesthetic and a clear eye for detail. Essentially, nothing should look like it’s simply provided by the venue. You must make everything your own. 

Your guests will enjoy seeing that you have thought of so much and considered every detail, and will be entertained by looking at everything you have set up. And on top of all of that, there is the invaluable anticipation that comes with the knowledge that it’s only just begun. 

The impacts of consideration and intentionality

If you want your guests to enjoy your wedding, they must see it not as an event they have to attend, but an experience they are a part of. This means that it must be fully immersive, with no room in the itinerary for bored daydreaming. 

It is crucial to put the guests’ needs at the forefront of your entire wedding experience. I advise that you keep your events, such as your welcome dinner or party, your rehearsal dinner, and other celebrations at a reasonable distance from your ceremony timewise, so the experiences do not blur together. 

Additionally, I would make sure that everything is planned around mealtimes and any unpleasant weather, and make any and all considerations to ensure top comfort for your guests. They may be awed by their first impression, but they may also forget that when they’re uncomfortable. This comfort can come in the form of light refreshments before the ceremony, useful favors such as foldable fans, somewhere to put their things, or even just the reprieve of a comfortable chair. 

Once the ceremony begins, it is your job to keep your guests’ attention. As an officiant and vow coach, it is always my main priority to make sure all eyes are on you. I personally aim to draw the guests in, but after that, it is your vows that must keep them enraptured. Your guests must feel like what they truly are in this moment — a group of people you hand-selected to witness your love.

Your vows must be personal and lighthearted. I think of them as something hand-crafted by the only two artisans in the world: you, and your spouse. They are a reminder to your guests that they’re participating in a once-in-a-lifetime love — although of course, if you have crafted everything with intention, this has not slipped their minds for even a second. 

After the ceremony, you need to make sure that your guests are still feeling the love. Meaning, you must make an effort to make them feel special. Your guests are there to celebrate you, so even if you’re low on time or social battery, a short greeting as a married couple, a meal, and the entertainment you have planned will do. Every guest wants a chance to congratulate and celebrate you — I say, soak it up. 

The joy of authenticity

This is where the phrase “It’s your day,” finally returns, because it is, still, your day. 

If nothing else, your wedding should radiate love. Every moment should glow with the amount of time, care, and labor put into it. Your affection should dance in the air like the perfume of roses. As a wedding, I’ve seen many weddings, but for me, this is always the part that sticks out the most. 

Ultimately, your guests want to see a wedding that represents you and your spouse’s love for one another. It should be yours — not cookie-cutter or everyday. Obviously, something is bound to go wrong at every wedding, even just slightly. Not everything always goes according to plan. However, if your guests can feel the love that you and your spouse share, that’s enough to outweigh anything that might go awry. 

In my opinion, witnessing true love is the greatest privilege. Who wouldn’t be honored to be a part of that?